


Focus

by eccedentesiasta



Category: Soy Luna (TV)
Genre: Canon Divergence, F/M, Mental Illness, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-12-21
Packaged: 2019-06-21 15:31:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15560859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eccedentesiasta/pseuds/eccedentesiasta
Summary: Ámbar is prosecuted for property damage at the Rodafest and tends to Silvana, who bails her out with the condition that she goes back to Buenos Aires to live with her. She agrees. The next morning Alfredo and the Valentes come back to the Benson mansion in Cancún completely empty.Summer vacation has nearly ended when Alfredo finally finds out where Ámbar is. He immediately flies back to Buenos Aires to meet with her and make things right.





	1. Intro

_She hated clinics._

She remembered screaming and kicking away from needles when she was little. Whereas vaccines were a nightmare, getting her blood drawn was hell. Rey would raise the little girl in his arms and force her to sit so the nurses could do their job. While other kids got lollipops and words of approval for their bravery, Ámbar got a _‘get in the car. Your godmother is waiting,’_ at best.

But now that Sharon was gone and she couldn't pay her out of trouble, she was stuck with a nervous Silvana that practically dragged her to this goddamn psychiatrist’s office to be asked personal questions like: “How was yours and Sharon’s relationship?”, “How are things going with Silvana now?”, “Do you miss Sharon?” on the daily, with the oh-so-familiar-by-now weekly questionnaire that Dr. Jiménez would make her.

 _Maybe she deserved it._ She hadn't thought that breaking a mirror at the Rodafest would imply actual consequences: she was so used to getting out of things easily she knew no other way to get through life.

So she preferred to contact Silvana to come back to that house to live with Alfredo and the Valentes, and pretend she was sorry for what she had done. Silvana and the police had come to an agreement: to pay a fine for the damages and take Ámbar to seek medical help to correct her behavior. It was either that or juvie.

She had a breakdown last time she was here. She didn’t keep a single thing away- it was of public knowing, anyway. Maybe in that moment she had hoped that if she confessed, this would end sooner.

But there she was again, drumming her fingers against her studded-leather-jacket-clad arm and huffing dramatically, looking around for any distraction. Instead she found a solid colored, hypoallergenic surrounding.

“How much longer do I have to come here, _mom_?”

Silvana smiled: “Ámbar, I know this must be weird for you, and I just wanna let you know that you can call me Silvana if you like- it’s fine with me.”

Ámbar smiled back, then insisted: “Okay, mom. But wh-”

“Ámbar Smith?”

She thinned her lips in frustration and stomped to the so-familiar door, opening it and shoving it back.

“Good morning, Ámbar!” A woman, dressed in a coat with ‘Doctor Rodríguez’ embroidered on it, mused while arranging the folders spilled all over the desk.

She stayed quiet and groggily sat down without being asked to. The psychologist grabbed a notebook and started writing.

“Where is Doctor Jiménez?” She said as she took off her jacket.

“I can’t tell you that, Miss.”

“But I wanna know-”

“Would you mind calling Silvana in?”

She glared at him for interrupting her, before opening the door and calling in her mother.

“Good morning, Doctor.”

“Good morning, Silvana. I’m Doctor Rodríguez. Doctor Jiménez remitted you to me. I’m a psychologist.” They both shook hands and smiled at each other, and Ámbar sank on her seat. “I called you two in because I need to give you some news.”

“What is it?” Silvana grabbed Ámbar’s hand and even though she didn’t pry it away she was uncomfortable with the gesture.

“Well- first, I have to let you know that Doctor Jiménez will no longer hold sessions with you, Miss Ámbar.”

“What? Seriously?! Yes!” She exclaimed, jumping out of her chair. “Thank you, doctor. Seriously, thank you. You’re such a blessing.” She gave an obnoxious farewell as she slid on her jacket again.

“Miss Ámbar, wait.” She was walking on the way out. “Miss Ámbar, I’m not done.”

She was frozen in place for a minute, then slowly walked to her seat and took it.

“Miss Silvana, you must know that there has been improvement. Ámbar finally opened up last week.”

“That’s good, right?”

“It is… Partially.”

“Well… what about the other part?”

“After studying your case, I have finally come to a conclusion. It’s not either good or bad, okay? You have to keep that in mind. It’s just information, and I’ll give you time to take it in.”

“Okay.” Both said at the same time, this time holding hands instinctively.

“I decided to diagnose Ámbar with histrionic personality disorder, with comorbid depression.”

Ámbar frowned at that jumble of words following her name and behind such a word as ‘depression’. _She wasn’t depressed_. “What is that?”

“Of course. It is believed by Freudians that the origin of this disorder might go back to childhood for children of authoritarian parents- specially the mother. Ámbar was brought up by Sharon, which I heard on the recordings was pretty implacable.”

“Wait- you record these sessions?”

“Of course, Miss Smith, but it’s strictly confidential. Us doctors are not supposed to talk about the verbal content of these meetings. If I wasn’t onto your medical history, I wouldn’t know anything about this.”

She nodded in understatement. “Additionally, Ámbar has shown glimpses of the known conduct in patients who suffer this disorder…”

As still as Ámbar was, her mind kept running in circles around her. There was something wrong with her. Everything she thought of herself was normal was actually deranged, insane. And all because of _Sharon_? The woman who had abused her for years on end was the reason why no best friend or boyfriend ever stayed? Why _no one_ ever stayed, actually?  

The white noise tuned out to Silvana’s question. “Does it have a cure?”

“Not exactly.”

“Well, can it be treated?”

“Yes, with therapy- but you would be seeing me instead of Doctor Jiménez. Although… to patients like Ámbar who are dealing with depression due to a dissolved romantic relationship, medication is also part of the treatment.”

Ámbar scoffed, “…you mean Simón?” Rodríguez nodded. “Simón was nothing! Just a stupid boy who fell in love with an idea of me.”

“From your talks with him, it seemed like he was _something_. You talked about a newfound perception of an uglier, darker world since you’ve broken up with him…”

“People go through break-ups all the time and it’s sad, but it doesn’t mean they’re all mentally ill!”

“Ámbar, that is the exception, not the rule and you know it.”

Ámbar looked down at her knees and pursed her lips before huffing in surrender. “What medication would I be put under, again?”

“Antidepressants. You’re not even gonna notice it, I promise you.”

 _She wasn’t hysterical or whatever bullshit that goddamn doctor told her. She felt perfectly normal,_ Ámbar thought as she stared out the car window on their way to the mansion. She couldn't bring herself to decline Alfredo's calls any longer, she kind of missed him: he would always be her grandpa.

“We’re going to get a second opinion on this. You know that, right?”

“But, mom- what if this is it? What if I am… _ill_?”

“Then we’re gonna work through this. Together.”

Ámbar held hands with Silvana over the stick shift and all was well for the rest of the ride.

* * *

“We’re here!” Ámbar yelled as she went through the backdoor, overwhelmed by a familiar sensation produced by an unfamiliar memory.

“My sweet niece is here!”

“Grandpa!” They both united in a heartfelt hug.

“Weren’t you at the doctor's office? Your mother told me you had an appointment today.”

She hated keeping secrets to his grandfather. She had promised to leave it behind along with Sharon, but one more probably wouldn’t make a difference.

“I was, but I spent all summer wanting to see you!”

“And I’m so glad you came to do so. What have you done about your skating?”

She pressed her lips together. This is why she was so anxious about visiting her grandfather: if he found out that had been a one-time thing, that she might never skate again, he would ask about college and the future and that freaked her out so much.

“...I’m dying to tell you but I’m _sooo_ tired. Can we talk about it later?”

She rushed up the stairs before Alfredo could even answer. “Sure! Sleep tight, dear niece!”

She hurried to her old bedroom, but she stopped herself at the sight of Luna and Nina sitting on the mattress. _Her mattress_.

“I’m just so confused, Nina. I mean− I was sitting on a rock, watching the breaking dawn on the beach and I suddenly felt so… _insignificant_.” Luna gestures vehemently through her dialog, but her expression remains stern. “And, just like on cue, Simón appears…-”

Ámbar hid her body behind the wall and kept listening: “-… and he seems to say all that I need to hear. Nina, I swear it was like he was the only thing that made sense to me.”

“Well, it could’ve been Matteo.”

“But- see? That’s exactly the point, Nina. It _wasn’t_ Matteo. And ever since that talk with Simón on the beach I’ve come to understand that Matteo doesn’t really care about me as a person. He just wants a girlfriend who will just eat it up for him.”

“But… he got so upset about you not telling him about your investigation! That means he cares-”

“…That means he hated not being omniscient in our relationship, like some kind of God play. He’s a control freak, Nina: a manipulative, selfish control freak. Because− I bet you remember when he pulled a PR stunt, I can’t even call it stunt− a _scheme_ , with Bruno that involved me without asking me if it was okay first, right?”

“Luna, that happened a long time ago.”

“I know- but that’s not what confuses me, anyway.”

“Then, what does?”

“When I said _‘at the end, it’s just you and me’_ , Nina… − I can’t even say that I regret it, because I don’t. It was the way I felt in that moment. And the more I think about it, the more I’m beginning to convince myself that maybe our relationships with Matteo and Ámbar were for the better, −”

 _Wait a minute. Is Luna on her side?_ The world vanished for a second. _That meant that maybe she would talk positively of her to Simón, he would forgive her and they would go back together…_

“− …in the sense that they made us grow as individuals and define our feelings and needs. It made us realize that we belong to each other. Maybe… _now_ is our time, Nina.”

_Luna Valente was a snake._

She couldn’t let her convince herself further that Simón and her would happen.

“You’re kicking me out of the house?” Ámbar barged in, taking both best friends by surprise. “Are you taking my room now?”

“Ámbar…”

“Tell me!” She chirped at Luna- _or should she call her Sol now?_ “How are things gonna be now that everything’s yours?”

“I’m leaving,” The third interrupted as she hurried out of the room.

The slam of the door produced by Nina made the brunette jump on her place, while to Ámbar it seemed an invitation to take a step further to establish dominance. Her words were spat out with utter hatred: “The wealth you have, your friends and even that stupid Crystal Skate that just a moron like Giuliana would consider you _deserving_ _of_ \- don’t mean _nothing_. To me, you’re still the same loathe-worthy, insignificant, _Lunita_.”

That seemed like a statement: at least enough for the heiress to hold her breath.

“Hope you enjoy it, _primita_ …” The blonde initiated with a saccharine tone, then got closer to the youngest’s ear to growl a threat: “…because I can feel your fifteen minutes of fame ticking closer to their end already.”

Luna’s eyes flickered uneasy through Ámbar’s features, and before the blonde could even say _‘boo’_ , she hurried out of the room with her backpack hanging on her shoulder.

She sullenly sat down on her bed and stared at the pink walls. _It didn’t make sense to fight for this. This didn’t represent her anymore._ The proud, smiling, fashionable blonde in her pictures felt like a shredded skin.

She sat in front of the mirror to fix her eyeshadow, but her reflection seemed to stare back up, inciting Ámbar to do something.

“What are you waiting for, Ámbar?”

She leaned forward. “You can either be bold and sacrifice everything for your freedom or live a stock character’s life forever. What’s it gonna be?”


	2. I wanna give you everything (can you hear my love?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Ámbar finds out Alfredo is throwing a party for Luna, she goes out to clear her head.

Next thing she knew, the doorbell rang.

“Coming!”

Ámbar ran down the stairs, as whatever asshole was outside kept vigorously tapping on the button.

“What do you want?! Jesus.”

“I’m Sabrina Hernández. I’m assuming you’re the kid wonder Alfredo told me about?”

“Well, I am her granddaughter. Yes.”

"Very nice to meet you." The planner shook the blonde's hand vigorously. “You are one lucky girl, Sol. Everything Alfredo has planned for tonight... Well, I'm not supposed to tell you but-”

“ _Sol?_ ”

“Yes. Sol. Sorry– did I get your name wrong?”

Ámbar forced a smile.

“No. It’s okay. I just– I need to go and do something real quick.”

Ámbar quickly grabbed her skates, lying on top of the few suitcases she had brought over from Silvana’s apartment.

“But wait, Sol–”

“Alfredo is in the kitchen, okay?”

She slammed the main door shut, face heated up in embarassment. _Spent all summer wanting to see you, my ass._ There was always an ulterior motive with the Bensons. She couldn’t believe she used to call herself one of them.

In desperate times, four rollerskate wheels and the wind's favor were all she could trust for a method of transport, therefore she adventured out of the mansion to find some peace of mind.

* * *

 “A party? Is he serious?”

“Very serious, Em.”

“And what did you say?”

“Nothing. I went out to get my mind off of it.”

“And where are you? Maybe we could hang out or something. Me and Benicio already finished moving in at Gary’s.”

“No. It’s fine. I’m… doing shopping therapy. And buying some things to redecorate my room.” The blonde let in to her friend, as the cashier returned her card. “Thank you – Maybe you could help me later?”

“I have a better idea. Why don’t we crash Luna’s little pity party?”

“I like the way you’re thinking. I’m so glad I have you.”

“It’s nothing, girl. Just make sure to send over the adress.”

“Hey – do you wanna stay over later and make some of those jalapeño mojitos you did last time?”

“Sure thing, babe. See you later.”

“See you.”

She had barely gotten out of the little hardware store when a newly-bought can of black spray paint rolled away from her reach. She came to its rescue immediately, leaving her shopping bags just in front of the store and defying the pedestrian traffic. She observed from a distance as the can hit a lamppost and stopped, and she sped up to try and get it.

However, one of the wheels of her skates jammed on the very last minute, leaving her no other option but to keep going full speed towards the next thing she could crash into.

"Out of my way!" She warned before an abrupt stop was forced on her.

With closed eyes she thanked God and all goodness that she hadn't ran into a wall or a shopwindow, but she opened them wide to the worst alternative. She looked up to her victim, and immediately broke away from his embrace despite the excruciating pain on her ankle.

"Sorry," she let out initially through gritted teeth and with her cheeks flushed from embarassment. It wasn't like her to apologize for anything- it even felt odd to say that word. So she got the taste off her tongue with a little cynism, "...but I believe I told you to get out of my way."

"I was already thinking you were a little out of it," Simón answered with a fake grin. It was impossible to ignore the missing wrinkles under his eyes that generally replicated his smile. He pinched his nose as he continued, "...but I see you're still prideful as ever, Ámbar."

He says her name in a saccharine tone just to spite its owner. Something inside him wants her to feel as much pain as he has felt all summer through for her, despite that other, pessimistic fraction of himself that knows she didn't care, she doesn't care now and will never care.

"Prideful?" Ámbar crosses her arms and moves her hips forward. "I'm just pointing out the fact that I warned you. I think you just wanted to see me get hurt and it didn't play out as you wished for."

But that was just what she wished from him. To hate her. Because if he hated her, it was easier for her to hate him back and not cave into becoming her old self again just to be who he wanted her to be.

After their heated conversation on victories and losses at the Rodafest, she thought he would never speak to her again. Hell, she never even though that they would cross paths again. But it seemed as if destiny had put them there together for some reason... or maybe Buenos Aires wasn't that big of a city.

"What are you doing downtown? Besides bumping into pedestrians, of course."

"I just came to buy a few things..."

She meant to display her shopping bags to him as proof but found herself empty handed. She had a faint memory of leaving them behind.

"- ... I must have left them back at the store. The point is, one of them got away from my reach and I was trying to get it when you caught me."

"...Then what was it, just now? Maybe your technique is getting a little rusty?" He teased. "I would've expected more from the Queen of the Rink."

"I don't know, I guess one of my wheels jammed or something..."

She started excusing herself before realizing he wanted to get through her façade as he tried to make her feel inferior.

"You know what? I don't owe you an explanation because I'm exactly who you said." She raised her chin and looked at him right in the eyes. "I don't want to hear you anymore, so if you could please move so I can get my bags I wouldn't give you a hard time for it."

She then turned on her ankles, trying to ignore the pain and tried to roll away before she felt one of her muscles pull in the attempt.

"Hey!" Simón let out before grabbing a hold of her by her waist to catch her.

Ámbar was paralyzed. She could've sworn Simón's hands burned on her skin even hotter than the previous usual.

She tightly gripped both with her own and removed them from her body.

"What the fuck, Simón?! Hands off!"

"Whoa, Ámbar! Chill! I just wanted to help you!" He yelled back, before taking a deep breath to gain back his composture. "I s-still wanna help." He confessed, and the knot in his throat untightened. "You're not well. I'm gonna have to take you back home. We're going to the mansion."

"That's not my home anymore." She let out in a whisper and Simón stopped himself. "Either take me to ER, to the loft... wherever, I don't care- but please, don't take to the mansion." She pleaded with glimmering eyes: those eyes that, Simón used to say, were the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen.

He sighed. "Alright. Let's just- let's just get you out of these skates, alright?"

When he tried to lead them to a bench, Ámbar instantly cried out:

“Simón, I can’t. I really can’t.”

The mexican knew what he had to do before he even realized. He carried Ámbar in the very-famous Simón-mobile until they found a place to sit.

“Thank you,” the blonde whispered as she untied her laces.

“Are those new?” Ámbar nodded. “They’re really cool. They match your hair and your clothes.”

She slapped her thighs and snapped at him: “Well, I’m wearing them because _I_ like them, so I don’t need your approval.”

“Ámbar,” Simón continued as he grabbed her hands, “...you don’t have to pretend with me.” She frowned. “I know you don’t mean these things you’re saying. Your attitude may have fooled others, but not me. And I know that behind all of that dark makeup you’re wearing, the real Ámbar is hiding.”

The blonde let out a dry chuckle. “You don’t get it, do you?” She let go of Simón’s hands, and bit her lip before continuing. “It’s not about the makeup, or the clothing. This is who I really am.” He looked down. “I believe I am living my truth now. I believe that I’m the best version of myself. And if you don’t like that, Simón, I don’t really care!”

With that said, she went back to carefully take off her skates.

“As if you cared about anything lately.” He mumbled.

“What was that?”

Simón took a deep breath, filling himself with courage. “You don’t care about anything. You didn’t care to betray the team that gave you the opportunity to shine, just to satisfy this sick Vendetta–”

“Oh my God, Simón. Didn’t you just get this weird feeling of dejà-vú just now? Because I clearly remember you said the exact same thing that night in the Rodafest.”

Simón looked away, because she was right. He just didn’t want to admit it to her face.

“It’s because you are done with the arguments, aren’t you?” A smirk rose the corners of her lips. “You don’t have any more reasons to believe I’m bad.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Well, go on then. Whatever you have to say, spew it.”

His silence spoke volumes.

“Simón, could it be that you’re finally seeing this situation from my point of view? That you finally realized I’m at least a little bit in the right here?”

“Ámbar… I really want you to be right, I do.” He caved. “But that’s up to you. To not make the same mistakes again.”

She huffed. “You’re not my dad, Simón! You’re not even my therapist, so cut it with the life advice.”

“I know I’m neither of those things, but I _am_ older than you. I must know something you don’t.”

“ _Of course you do-_ do you know how not to go and try to fix every person that comes into your life?" _A slap across the face would've hurt less,_ he swore. "Do you understand that I do what I want, and that if I don’t want to change my ways I won’t?”

“...Of course. I’ll just– I’ll get a cab.” Simón muttered as he stood up from the bench.

“What? You’re just gonna leave me here?”

“No, Ámbar. I’m making sure you get a ride home safely.”

She hated that he was so good. 

Despite everything she had done to push him away, he couldn't ever hurt her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> very very short but sweet. feel free to comment your thoughts or on whatever you think might happen next! <3


End file.
